Frozen - Continuation
by CaptainLyssa
Summary: One shot: I read a story on the internet, not even sure how I found it but if you google Frozen by ukspacebaby, you might. I didn't like the ending, so I've written one of my own. You don't need to read the original as I've added a synopsis. Please let me know what you think and if I should continue another chapter or two.


Synopsis

I read a story on the internet, not even sure how I found it but if you google H. Frozen you might. I didn't like the ending, so I've written one of my own.

Goes something like this.

_Voyager_runs across a star system inhabited by the Moyra, who, at first, seem wonderful. Time line is season five. Seven is on board, the delta flyer is operational and Tom is an Ensign. The solar system, protected by electromagnetic storms, means the locals are able to deflect unwanted invaders. While _Voyager_is trading for supplies and the crew experiencing some much-needed rest and relaxation, many smaller storms coalesce into a massive eruption, casing the locals to disappear. Of course, transporters can't be used because of the EM radiation so the crew is being ferried within the system by shuttles.

Janeway is invited to a dignitaries wedding. Harry, piloting the Delta Flyer with Seven as his co-pilot, drops the Captain off. He gets delayed so Tom's ordered by Chakotay to take the Drake and collect the Captain. He's just finished a mission with a beautiful Moryran dignitary, which infuriates B'Elanna. Before he can take off again, the Chief Engineer is fixing a shuttle in the bay and the lovers have one of their arguments. It's not until afterwards Torres discovers the EM storms are causing issues with the shuttles power systems. Long story short, _Voyager_is caught in the massive storm, leaving the critically damaged shuttles and their crew barely hanging on all over the system.

Harry and Seven manage to locate all the missing away teams with the Borg enhanced Delta Flyer, except the Drake. In the meantime, Tom and the Captain, caught in one of the smaller storms and losing power, crash on an ice moon. They manage to escape the shuttle when it lands on a frozen lake that won't hold its weight. The temperature is just above zero in the day and forty below at night. There's evidence of a hungry polar bear type animal stalking them as they attempt to find shelter. The storms also playing havoc with their tricorder, comm badges and draining the power from Tom's phaser.

So, plot point one: Janeway can't make the jump to safety, loses one of the survival packs and gets wet. Even dressed in the thermal blanket, she starts suffering hypothermia and becomes reliant on her Ensign for survival.

Plot point two: eventually they find a cave with evidence the Moyran's used it as a low technology hunting lodge, but it's been trashed by the polar bear like creature. At least they have a fire and piles of furs for warmth.

Plot point three: while collecting wood, Tom gets attacked and hurt by one of the creatures. The wound has been infused with a paralysing agent and Janeway is forced to use the limited supply of stimulant to keep him alive. They can only survive another twenty-four hours before Tom dies and Janeway freezes to death.

Plot point four: approaching the time limit, _Voyager_has found a way to navigate the storms without losing power, the Delta Flyer has located/saved the other crews and is zeroing in on the Drake's last known position.

Plot point five: an avalanche buries Tom and the Captain. They use the last of their resources to burn a hole in the ice so they can breathe. Waiting to die, Tom uses half the last shot of stimulant, giving the other half to Janeway. Their time running out, he tells the story of how he got the B- in survival class and ends up making love to Janeway with the last of his strength to keep her warm enough to survive a few more hours.

Plot point six: by the time _Voyager_and the Delta Flyer find Tom and the Captain, they are frozen together with only one heart beat between them. Of course, the EMH dose his magic and they both survive. However, he knows they've been intimate.

There are several additional stories, which paint Tom as rather immoral, continuing his romance with B'Elanna while sleeping with the Captain. I'm not sure any of the characters would act in this way. So, this is my version.

Sick bay

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Mr. Paris," the Doctor announced. Hypospray in hand, he leant over the biobed currently hosting his most troublesome patient.

"What's that?" Tom attempted to lift a hand, only to find it wouldn't move. In fact, his voice had never been this raspy and head refused to budge. He could hear the sound of air recirculating in the room, feel the EHM's hand on his left shoulder and see the dimed light of Sick bay. A feeling of elation swept over the prostrate Ensign as he knew he'd been saved. Quickly followed by despair as Tom realised his limbs wouldn't respond to his commands.

"Something to counteract the paralysis caused by your little encounter with the Brion," pausing, the Doctor could see the fright and fatigue in his patient's blue eyes. Smiling, the EMH pressed the device to Tom's neck while continuing to read his lips. "The bear like creature you combatted, Mr. Paris, while on your little adventure. But, I wouldn't worry, the Moyran's gave us the cure. You'll be as good as new in a few moments. However, I must insist you stay overnight for observation."

"Where's the Captain?" Paris demanded, his lungs taking in air and vocal cords beginning to work. Yet, Tom still couldn't move his head. He needed to ensure Kathryn Janeway survived their ordeal. All those stories, moments shared attempting to keep each other warm and conscious effected Paris to the core. It seemed Janeway knew more about him from his father's loose lips than Tom ever expected. It gave him new insight into both Admiral Paris and the Captain. "Is she….?"

"Ah, I believe the Captain is recovering in her quarters." Pausing, the EMH watched his patient's increasing worry and muscle tone. The first disappeared immediately, while the second continued to spread exponentially as the Moyran antidote took effect. "After, of course, threatening to decompile me, if I didn't let her go the moment she could stand. At least her heart was still beating when we found you, even if you were both frozen solid. The frostbite was easily treatable. Of course, you never do anything the easy way. I do hope you're not going to give me as much trouble, Mr. Paris. Your injuries were much more sever."

Finally, able to shake his head, Tom felt himself sinking under a blanket of darkness. It seemed he'd been given more than an antidote in the hypo. Sighing, the Doctor checked the cortical and respiratory stimulators as the sedative took effect. The displays indicated Lt. Paris's heart and lungs were finally working on their own. Within the hour, he'd be able to remove the devices.

"Well, Mr. Paris, it looks like you've cheated death once again!" The Doctor shook his head, retreating to his office so he could start the medical report that required filing. An hour later, Lt. Torres stormed through the door, demanding to see her lover. Standing abruptly, the EMH strode into sick bay with a deepening frown.

"I believe," he admonished while standing in the woman's way, "I indicated I would inform you when Ensign Paris is able to receive visitors."

Growling, B'Elanna crossed her arms and glared at the hologram.

"Before you threaten to decompile me, the Captain has already made the same threat. Neither of you intimidate me, Lieutenant," the Doctor's tone was at its biting best. "So, I suggest you return to your duties and I'll call you when Mr. Paris is able to see you."

"It is true," B'Elanna demanded.

"Is what true, Lieutenant," the EMH was fast losing patience with the half Klingon's belligerence.

"They were found, together?" she demanded once again, as if the Doctor were an imbecile for not understanding her. When he continued to stare, B'Elanna entwined her fingers to display what she meant.

"If you mean, the Captain and Ensign Paris were attempting to survive by sharing body heat, then yes," his eyes narrowed, boring into the obviously jealous woman. "However, technically, they still froze to death. It's a miracle Ensign Paris is alive. I suggest you take your attitude and leave my Sick bay." Softening, the Doctor added, "I'll let you know when you can return."

Continuing to glare, Lt. Torres pivoted on one foot and stormed out.

**_First_**, her mind exploded in anger as she stalked back to Engineering, _Tom spends several hours more than he should with that Moyran Ambassador who would give the pleasure girls of Risa a run for their money. Talking! As if I would believe that. It's not the first time he's stood me up for one of his other interests. Then he gets naked with the Captain in the name of survival._Snorting, B'Elanna recalled their last argument and how it differed from all the others. Reflecting, she calmed considerably._Tom's ever told me goodbye and walked away. Maybe he really meant it. Since his demotion, he's changed. That month in the brig did a number on him. The Captain's never punished anyone the way she did Tom. Even Chakotay was shocked and tried to talk her into reducing his sentence. Maybe that's why he tried so hard to keep the Captain alive._

B'Elanna's pace slowed considerably as her anger seeped away. It would be just like Tom Paris to attempt to save another's life at the expense of his own. After all, he'd done it several time in the past. The thought brought back B'Elanna's anger, this time aimed at Janeway. One of the things she loved about Ensign Thomas Paris, his selflessness in the face of danger. One of the things she loathed about him was his selfishness.

Barking orders as she entered Engineering, the Chief made herself busy with the million and one tasks required to keep the Warp core and Impulse nacelles functioning at peak efficiency. The staff muttered under their breath, having heard about Ensign Paris's injury occurring so close to their bosses latest public argument with her lover. While _Voyager_had been in danger, Lt. Torres attention had been on her job. It seemed she was making up for lost time. Except for Lt. Carey, the remainder of the engineering core kept their distance.

"Chief," Joe Carey expected to have his head bitten off, literally. Instead he found B'Elanna sitting still, staring at the panel before her. To the best of his knowledge, she been fixing the regulators for several hours. "Lt. Torres," Joe tried again.

"He almost died," B'Elanna whispered, her eyes finally focusing on her assistant.

Nodding, Joe had been in the shuttle bay when they last spoke. Partially immune to the outbursts, he'd kept his head down. However, even he'd heard the finality in Paris's last words. The man seemed more annoyed than usual. Looking back, Lt. Carey noted the change occurred after his incarceration for the Morean incident. Yet, there was nothing he could say to comfort his boss.

B'Elanna saw the look in her subordinates' eye. "I know it's not the first time Tom's put his life on the line. This time, it's different, more personal, as if he had to prove himself to the Captain, or die trying."

"Maybe," Joe agreed. His mind catalogued the events of the last five years and came to a decision. "When Paris first came on board, there were rumours. Lt. Commander Cavitt and Dr. Fitzgerald told anyone who would listen about Caldik Prime. The Captain squashed the gossip pretty quickly. It earnt him a name as her pet. Then she gave him back his rank, not provisionally as with the Maquis, but a full reinstatement and made him chief Conn Officer."

"I know," Torres's anger started once again. She'd been vacillating between rage and sorrow for the last six hours. "But she made Chakotay First Officer."

"B'Elanna," it was the first time Joe Carey used her name since becoming Chief, "Commander Chakotay was a line officer with twenty years Starfleet experience and the Captain had few other options. Tom, well he also had a few years on a Starship as a pilot. The point is, Paris has more than earned his place on this crew. The Morean incident, it changed him."

"What are you trying to say?" Torres demanded, not sure she wanted to hear the words that would confirm her own suspicions. Given time to reflect on his past, somehow, she'd lost the love and respect of Thomas Eugene Paris.

"There's always been something between the Captain and Tom," Carey dropped his tone, attempting to soften the blow. "A friendship, maybe based on the fact Janeway was Admiral Paris's protégée. Maybe based on the fact she gave him a second chance and Tom's grateful. Even now, the Captain prefers to take Tom as her pilot on away missions. She still stands by his console on the bridge and touches his shoulder. Whatever is between them, it's only being stuck out here…."

Nodding, Torres threw down her tools. "Finish this up for me, will you?"

"Sure, Chief," Joe's smile was watery. He didn't dare show any pity. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

"For telling me the truth," B'Elanna had to get out of engineering before she broke down. "I think I've always known, but hoped…"

Without looking back, she strode for the door. Barking at the turbolift, B'Elanna found herself requesting deck five and not her quarters. This time, a simple glare at the EMH stopped him in his tracks. Glancing over at the biobed, it was empty. Tom was gone and no one had bothered to inform her. _So much for being in a relationship_, she fumed. _He couldn't even comm me to escort him to his quarters._

"I'm sorry," the Doctor's frown stated Ensign Paris left against medical advice. It wouldn't be the first time. Usually, Torres had to promise to keep an eye on him for a day or two.

"Story of my life," B'Elanna muttered. Waspishly, she demanded, "I suppose the Captain sprung him."

The EMH's silence resounded within the room.

Feeling her angry tears threatening once again, Torres tore out sick bay. Entering her quarters, B'Elanna called for Tom's location. Unsurprisingly, he was in his cabin, but not alone.

"What," she hissed, slumping onto her favorite chair and allowing the hot, salty tears to fall, "did I expect. Looks as though he really meant it this time."

"Tom," Kathryn sat beside the bewildered man. Concern lacing her eyes, Janeway noticed the confusion clouding his normally sparkling orbs. "I sprung you from sick bay because we need to talk, about what occurred and where we go from here."

"This," he pointed to the space between them, his meaning obvious, "has changed everything. I have to tell B'Elanna."

"I understand," the Captain sighed. "For the record, I never though we'd survive. When I woke up, the Doctor asked me outright, if we'd slept together. Doctor patient confidentiality, he won't say anything, Ensign."

"So," Tom's expression changed, becoming hard, "it's back to Ensign."

"It can't be anything more, Tom," Kathryn sighed once again, "you know that!"

Each became lost in their own retrospections. Finally shaking her head, the Captain rose from the couch. "Get some sleep, Mr. Paris. I'll see you on the bridge the day after tomorrow."

Snorting, Tom turned his icy blue eyes on her. "Right, sleep. You realise B'Elanna's going to barrel through that door soon. I've never lied to her, never cheated on her, or any woman I've slept with."

"You can't call this cheating, Tom," Kathryn sighed. "What you did, what **_we_**did, kept us both alive. It was nothing more than a survival tactic."

"What about the time I abducted you," Tom's remorse knew few limits. Once he started on this self-destructive pathway, it tended to spiral out of control. Even after years of playing by the book, at least mostly, while on _Voyager_, the self-loathing returned. "Forced you to mate with me and left our three offspring on that planet?"

"I thought we got over that," the hard tone the Captain used infused her words, "years ago, Ensign."

"Don't you ever wonder why?" Tom demanded. "Why I chose you? I was working closely with B'Elanna on the warp ten project for months. We were friends and she would have been the first woman I saw after breaking those restraints in Engineering. I didn't stop until I found you. I wanted you to experience what I had. The feeling of being everywhere at once."

"What are you trying to say, Ensign?" Demanded the Captain in a dangerous tone.

If Tom hadn't been so lost in his own emotions, trying to sort out his feelings and motivations, he might have headed the warning. "I don't know," he deflated suddenly, throwing his weight back into the couch. A hand coming up to cover his eyes, Paris tried to clear his mind and think. Logic didn't seem possible right now, not with the maelstrom of images storming across his conscious. "I do know," he spoke clearly, "that B'Elanna and I are finished. When I told her good bye a few days ago, I meant it. I'm done arguing and trying to compete with her engines. No matter what, there is no excuse for cheating on someone you love. Ergo, I can't love her enough to be completely committed to the relationship and I won't hurt her by pretending."

"This," Kathryn finally looked at the young man's body language, understanding more was going on that their liaison, "has been coming for some time?"

"Yeh," Tom agreed, finally removing his blindfold and accepting the truth. His blue orbs unfocused, he shook his head as if to clear it. "I just didn't want to accept it. I enjoyed the chase, but after getting the girl, it was just hard work, for both of us. I guess that's why we argue so much." Smirking, his tone melancholy, Thomas Paris finally met his Captain's eyes. "You were wrong," he stated with finality, recalling their discussion while on the ice moon. "Of the twelve relationships on _Voyager_, B'Elanna and I were the most volatile, not the most secure. We had the least chance of remaining intact. I can't believe we've lasted this long."

"If this get out," Kathryn Janeway closed her eyes, before going to sit beside the depressed man and covering one of his hands with her own, "it will cause multiple problems. Firstly, I'm not going to be painted as the other woman, Mr. Paris. My reputation as Captain is paramount. Before you get any ideas, now or in the future, we might have been intimate twice, but that doesn't mean this goes any further. Second, if you tell Lt. Torres, she will run to Chakotay or Ensign Kim."

Tom took in a sharp breath.

"Which leads me to points three and four. Chakotay will not be happy," Janeway exhaled, deeply.

"More like will attempt to space me from the nearest airlock," Tom injected, his humour thin but returning. "I still recall his looks after the warp ten incident. It took years… Sorry, Captain, but the man's in love with you."

Giving Ensign Paris her best death glare, Kathryn Janeway was well and truly aware of her First Officer's romantic interests. The expression on her face at least made Tom stop and think about their predicament. "At least," the Captain bit out, "I can trust the Doctor not to say a word."

"Harry," Tom shook his head and stared at the ceiling, "he can't keep a secret. I'm not sure B'Elanna would tell anyone, especially Harry. Unless…."

"Unless what, Ensign," Kathryn returned that glare on him.

"Unless she wanted everyone to know," Tom finished, his lips drooping into a frown. "I won't know until I've told her."

"As this is your personal life," Kathryn rubbed her temple, a migraine threatening with the implications, "I can't order you **_not_**to say anything to Lt. Torres, Ensign. I'm hoping you'll use your better judgement, or everyone on board might be addressing you as crewman."

"Yes, Captain," Tom's gaze watched as the woman rose and exited his quarters. Left alone with his thoughts, sleep wouldn't come. He recalled every moment of the forty or so hours they were trapped on that moon. The cold creeping into their bones. The terror of being paralysed while the Captain, Kate, slept in his arms. Something, a sixth sense alerting her to his predicament. The moment of pure panic in the complete dark as she fumbled to find the hypospray with frostbitten fingers. His joy at being able to feel again.

At some point in his introspections, Tom fell into a restless sleep. The night terrors he hadn't experience in years attacked. Vulnerable, lost and alone, he fell from the couch, taking several minutes to remember exactly where he was. In his mind, he'd been back in the cave, waiting for death to come. Kate's heartbeat so slow, he knew she didn't have much longer.

Two days later, Tom showed up on the bridge for his first shift since their ordeal. He looked terrible. Dark circles under his eyes, movements slow and eyes dull. Before he could step down onto the command level, the Captain ordered him to sick bay.

"Well," she demanded of the Doctor.

"I believe Mr. Paris is suffering from a guilty conscious, Captain," he stated in an acid tone. "Insomnia, night terrors, lack of appetite, dehydration, would you like me to go on? I can only do so much. The rest is up to Mr. Paris."

Tapping her comm badge, Kathryn called Lt. Torres to sick bay. Leaving, she hid in her ready room for the rest of the day. As Captain, Janeway kept an ear on rumour and gossip. Morale might be Chakotay and Neelix's domain but a good leader still knew what occurred on her ship. In this case, Mr. Paris's absence from the mess hall hadn't gone unnoticed. Captain Janeway checked his ration account, it hadn't been touched yesterday. Tom refused visitors, even Harry. The young operations Officer complained that Paris was ignoring him on the bridge during his last duty shift. Finally, Lt. Torres behaviour was calm but distracted and she hadn't stayed a moment longer than duty required. The crew knew of Tom and B'Elanna's fight, assuming this time it signalled the end of their relationship. Only the Captain and EMH knew the real reason behind Tom's reactive depression.

Chakotay, left in charge of the bridge, waited two hours before his inquisitiveness got the better of him. However, the Captain abruptly dismissed him unless he had ships business, which spiked his curiosity further. This behaviour, after five years as her Frist Officer, angered and frustrated the Commander. Angered because he knew his superior officer well enough that her behaviour had something to do with the way Kathryn and Paris were found on the moon, and frustration because the Captain declined to inform him about an event that was very obviously creating morale issues within the crew.

Back in Sick Bay, Ensign Thomas Paris understood he'd been given begrudging permission to tell B'Elanna about his misdeeds, which caused Tom's emotions to resurfaced. Waiting for his former lover, he closed his eyes and went over how to tell Torres about his assignation with the Captain. Betrayal was something B'Elanna didn't take well. Paris knew how much her Father and Mother's abandonment cost her self-respect.

"Tom," B'Elanna approached the biobed slowly, carefully. The quiet footsteps told Ensign Paris more about his former lovers' emotions than he'd like. It seemed Torres had come to her own conclusion about their relationship.

"I'll be in my office, Mr. Paris," the Doctor gave the half Klingon a glare stating any violence in his domain wouldn't be tolerated, "should you need me. You may stay five minutes, Lieutenant, no more. The Ensign needs his rest."

"He knows," B'Elanna's tone became belligerent as her arms crossed protectively over her chest, "doesn't he."

"Yes," Tom whispered, unable to meet her eyes. It didn't matter how many times he rehearsed this in his head, the words just wouldn't come out.

"You meant it," B'Elanna continued her interrogation, "didn't you? When you said goodbye in the shuttle bay? You were ending us?"

"Yes," it seemed the only word that would come out of Tom's mouth.

"Did you ever love me?" the irate woman demanded, her tone bordering on threatening.

"I tried," finally Tom felt able to sit up and face her. "Honestly, B'Elanna, I tried. All the fighting and arguing, it's exhausting. Not enough to make up for the good times. Love need nourishment to grow, time to develop and conviction to sustain. We didn't have great role models or a good track record, especially in the trust department."

Turing introspective, Torres asked, "what happened on that moon?"

Smiling, Tom shook his head. "That," he stated sagely, "is what I'm talking about, Torres. One minute your about to tear me limb from limb for some perceived wrong, the next your analysing everything I say, trying to fit my words and actions into your preconceived ideas. Then the cycle starts all over again." Noticing the steam starting to come out of her ears, Paris sighed. "I did what I had too so the Captain had a chance of surviving. I'm not proud of my actions and knowing I was about to die is no excuse."

"The whole ship knows you got naked with her," Torres barked, insulted her lover would place her in such an embarrassing situation.

A light turned on in Tom's brain. "And that," he stated venomously, "it the real issue. This isn't about you, Torres. I didn't set out to humiliate you by getting suck on that moon with the Captain. A real relationship is about two people working together to achieve a similar goal no matter what obstacles are in their way. We don't have what it takes if you can't get past the fact I technically died protecting the highest-ranking officer on _Voyager_. That I tried to put someone else's needs above my own for the good of this ship."

"If this is your way of breaking up with me," Torres hissed. "I'll save you the trouble, Paris."

Watching her storm out, Tom shook his head. The confrontation had gone better than expected. "And," he managed an empty chuckle, "I didn't tell Torres I slept with the Captain."

"It won't be long," the Doctor poked his head around the corner, "before someone works it out, the way you too are acting with each other. May I suggest you speak with the Captain before your next duty shift, Ensign."

Nodding, Tom took the EMH's advice under consideration. "Does that mean I'm free to leave?"

"If you promise to eat, sleep and report any further issues," the Doctor glared, "in that order."

"You have my word, Doc," Tom managed his first genuine smile in several days. "I'll see you tomorrow afternoon."

"I believe," the EMH teased, "your assignment on neurological disorders is due. At least you'll have something to pass the time while on medical leave."

Rolling his eyes, Tom hurried out of Sick Bay.

Returning to duty the next day, Ensign Paris found the bridge quiet and eyes following his every move. It seemed Lt. Torres wasted little time telling everyone she'd dumped Tom, permanently this time. Harry looked on with concerned eyes. Yet, he'd not bothered to visit his friend after Paris was released from Sick bay yesterday. It told Tom where his friends loyalties lay, equally divided between himself and B'Elanna.

"Wait up, Harry," Tom called, standing to take his meal break.

"I'm meeting B'Elanna," Harry looked embarrassed.

"Doesn't mean we can't walk to the mess hall together," Tom grinned. The sparkle didn't quite reach his eyes.

Nodding, Ensign Kim waited until the turbolift doors closed before asking, "did you really break up with Torres?"

"Yep," Tom managed to look his friend in the eye. "I'm not sure what B'Elanna saying, Harry and frankly, I don't really care. I understand your loyalties are divided right now. I just hope we can stay friends."

Ensign Kim scrutinised Tom and his behaviour. As the doors opened into the corridor, he asked in an astonished voice, "you really meant it? About Torres? This is not like one of you other arguments?"

"No, Harry," Tom sighed.

"I'm sorry," Kim responded.

"I am and I'm not," Tom's watery smile hid his emotions. "I have some holodeck time tomorrow. You up for the next chapter of Captain Proton."

"It's a date," the younger man grinned.

"Careful, Harry," Tom managed a genuine smirk, "people will start talking."

Shrugging as they reached the door to the mess, Ensign Kim grinned. "Let them, Paris."

Understanding the friendship between himself and Harry wouldn't change, Tom joined the Delany sisters holding court on the other side of the mess. Neelix made a fuss, bringing Tom a plate and making several officers wait in line. Assessing the feeling of the room, it was obvious everyone thought this argument would soon blow over.

A week later, the rumours turned snide and equally divided. Few believed Lt. Torres dumped Ensign Paris, at least not without cause. The way Tom was found with the Captain lead to much conjecture. The crew were divided into the Tom cheated camp or B'Elanna's temper finally drove him away.

"Mr. Paris, my ready room," Janeway comm'ed, her tone unhappy. Tom had barely entered when the Captain stood, that look in her eye. The Ensign knew he was in trouble. "I have heard some very disturbing rumours. I have it under good authority that our actions on the ice moon have remained confidential. Yet, Commander Chakotay asked me outright, if something occurred between us. Do you have any explanation?"

Slumping into the nearest chair, Tom covered his eyes with a hand. "The Doc," he stated with rancour, "said I should come and talk with you before someone figured it out. I guess he was talking about the Commander. I told you Chakotay's in love with you, Kate."

"I didn't give you permission to use my given name, Mr. Paris," the Captain's voice became quite and gravely.

"This," Tom turned on the angry woman across the desk, "is the kind of inquisition I would have expected from B'Elanna, not you." Seething, Paris had to take a moment to calm his breathing. The situation reminding him of the Morean episode. Fingers found their way to his remaining pip. It seemed to break the tension.

Nodding, Kathryn Janeway assessed the man before her. Obviously, he wasn't sleeping any better than herself. The dark circles attested to restless nights, reliving those moments before they both lost consciousness. Sighing, she didn't know how to fix this. They'd both been on egg shells around each other.

"It seems Commander Chakotay knows me better than I thought," Kathryn observed.

"I caught him questioning B'Elanna in the mess a couple of days ago," Tom confessed. "The way they looked at me, I wondered how long it would take them to put two and two together. I'm not sure we can stop this getting out, Captain."

"Neither can I, Mr. Paris. Any ideas?" She requested.

Shrugging, Tom answered, "somehow, we have to get back to normal. I'm not sure how we achieve that, Captain."

"Me either," Kathryn agreed.

Another week passed, in which the Captain and Ensign Paris ignored the rumours and looks. If their unusual behaviour drew attention, returning to their easy comradery only set more tongues wagging. It seemed they couldn't win with the crew recalling every action or event over the last five years concerning the two of them.

"We have another problem," Kathryn ordered Tom to her private quarters. Sitting in civilian clothing, her eyes focused beyond the clear aluminium window, she looked lost and very alone.

Raising an eyebrow, Paris stood to attention and waited.

"I'm pregnant, Tom," clear grey eyes pierced him to the core. "At my age, this is the last chance I have to become a mother. It's not ideal, in the Delta quadrant, leading this crew home. However, it's not like planned this."

"You want to keep it," Tom spluttered, collapsing into the nearest chair.

"I'm considering it," Kathryn's attention finally turned to his reaction. "I wanted to tell you first, get your opinion before coming to a final decision. I know Sam Wildman has raised Naomi alone."

"She's not the Captain," Tom managed. "You're going to need help, Kate."

Watching her reaction to using her given name, Kathryn Janeway smiled. "As a girl, I hoped to be married to my child's father, Tom. That when it was conceived, it would be out of love. Obviously, that's not the case. However, you are involved and it wouldn't be fair to make this decision without your input."

It was a lot to take in. Hanging his head, Tom couldn't comprehend his own feelings at this moment. He needed time to absorb everything. "I," he faltered, "I guess I had the same dreams as you, growing up. My parents were traditionalist, getting married then having kids. Not," he smirked, "that either of my sisters have followed that path. I guess I'm not going to either."

"Phoebe, my sister, has three children," Kathryn's recollection brought a smile to her lips. "All are adopted. She's raised them alone."

"Meaning you can do the same," Tom found a tone of hurt creeping into his words.

"That depends on you," once again the Captain's death glare speared him. "I want your feelings and opinions, Tom. The crew discovering we slept together in order to survive will be inconsequential in comparison to announcing I'm carrying your child after the way your relationship ended with B'Elanna."

Swallowing hard, Tom Paris finally comprehended the Captain's position, as an officer and individual. She had the welfare of one hundred and forty souls under her care. Adding motherhood exponentially compounded her responsibility. The crew would rally, helping in any way possible. Kathryn Janeway was seeking to gauge his level of involvement before making her final decision.

"Kate," Tom moved swiftly to the seat beside the confused woman. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he felt the tentation. Yet, the contact brought them closer together. "As my Captain, I'll do whatever you order. I've never given you anything but my complete loyalty, even after the Morean incident. As the mother of my child, I'll support whatever decision you make. It's your body. I want you to know my biggest regret, leaving our offspring on that planet. I thought a lot about them over the years. I want to be a father, just not the kind my dad was. I want the chance to see my children develop and grow. I know we didn't choose this, but…"

"Thank you, Tom," Kathryn patted his hand, signalling it was time to draw apart.

"Don't," Tom pleaded, continuing to clasp her shoulders. "We're going to have to become a lot closer, emotionally, if we're going to raise this baby together. A child deserves better than being shared between its parents."

Nodding, Kathryn Janeway had already considered it. However, she didn't want to push Tom into anything. As if he could sense her churning emotions, he pulled Kate into his embrace.

"No matter what you decide," he was interrupted.

"We decide, Tom," Kathryn sighed.

"Whatever we decide," Tom reiterated, "now is not the time to be making life altering choices. We have time to discuss this, Kate."

"I want to keep this child," she cried, suddenly needing to be held and told her choice wasn't completely selfish.

"Then we're going to be parents," Tom kissed the top of her head, before whispering, "again."


End file.
